Title: The EU's Electile Dysfunction: Ursula von der Leyen's Guide to Making Parliaments Irrelevant Again

In the thrilling saga of European democracy, the 2024 Parliament election emerges as a blockbuster, or perhaps more fittingly, a sleeper hit. The star of the show? Ursula von der Leyen, the maestro behind a symphony of political maneuvering that's turning the European Parliament into the neglected sidekick of EU decision-making.

In a stroke of genius—or is it sarcasm?—von der Leyen has taken a page from the "How to Make Parliaments Disappear" handbook. The plot twist? Solve everything directly with member state governments through the EU Council, leaving the European Parliament to twiddle its legislative thumbs.

Why bother with a robust parliament when you can cut out the middle democracy and go straight to the source? It's almost as if von der Leyen is trying to convince us that parliamentary debates are just quaint traditions, like afternoon tea or wearing monocles.

The unintended consequence of this grand strategy is the rise of elitism in the EU. Who needs a parliament representing the people when decisions are made behind closed doors by the Commission and a select few member state governments? It's the exclusive VIP club of decision-making, and the European Parliament seems to have misplaced its invitation.

As the EU gears up for the 2024 Parliament election, citizens are left with the burning question: Why vote for a parliament that's been demoted to the role of a political wallflower? It's the classic case of "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk elsewhere?"

In this gripping political drama, the EU must now embark on a heroic quest to bridge the credibility gap. Picture it: a marketing campaign to convince citizens that, yes, the European Parliament does matter, despite evidence to the contrary. It's a tough sell, like trying to convince someone that kale chips are just as good as regular ones.

So, as we eagerly await the 2024 European Parliament election, let's raise a virtual toast to the unsung hero of this narrative – the European Parliament, bravely battling against the odds to reclaim its relevance in the grand theatre of EU decision-making. Will it succeed, or will von der Leyen's script prevail, relegating parliamentary influence to the archives of EU history? Only time will tell in this riveting tale of electile dysfunction.